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Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah and Jewish Wedding Planning and Resource Guide

Invitation Selection and Thank You Cards

Top Ten Tips for Invitation Selection

by Lauren Margolin of Inviting Ideas (847-684-8088)

See your dealer 6 months before the mitzvah date. Depending on which company you order from, shipment can take anywhere up to 8 weeks.You will need plenty of time for stuffing and addressing..

Order a proof! It costs extra but is well worth it. You'll get to see the layout and text before printing.

Have a solid guest list ready so you will know how many invitations you will need. Make sure you order extra for any additional guests. Order extra envelopes for calligrapher errors.

Be creative. Many companies do not charge or have a nominal charge to change paper colors. If you see it in black & white but want black and pink...go for it!

Preview invitation albums first then select handful for your child to preview. It can be overwhelming for children to look through all of them.

Order thank you notes along with the invitations. Many gifts will come in the response cards and you will be ready for your child to write thank you notes.

Many invitation dealers offer a discount. Make sure you are receiving discounts or choosing a dealer that offers them.

It is not necessary to match your invite colors to your room or theme. The invite should express your child and family.

Review sample wording choices to fit your feelings and sentiments. Some parents are now using famous or biblical quotes to begin the wording on invitations.

Enjoy the process! Remember, this should be fun and stress-free!

Get Some Manners: How to say "Thank you"

By Lisa Norton

The big event is over, but the work isn’t done. You are probably burnt out from party planning and making sure the event ran as smoothly as possible, but you will have to have energy for this last critical hurtle--saying thank you to your guests who took the time to celebrate you.

Now you may be saying to yourself, "Of course I know how to say thank you. Excel spreadsheet, mail merge, standard 'Thanks for coming, loved the gift' stamped in each card"and presto!" Unfortunately, if you really want to say "Thank you" properly, the project requires a bit more work than a simple click of the mouse. But, never fear, you CAN write amazing "thank you" notes that will make your guests feel appreciated but will not require you to stress out too much. Just follow these simple tips and you will be on your way to being known as the best host/hostess among all your family and friends.

Before sitting down to write your notes, you must do some pre-writing preparation. Make sure the gifts still have the givers’ cards attached to them. Go through each of the cards and gifts and create a list of the names appearing in the card and what the gift was. Here is where technology can be your friend because you can make a nice spreadsheet containing all the necessary information. This list will serve as the main reference for writing "thank you’s." Note: Check the guest list to see if there was anyone who came but did not give a gift-you still want to thank them for coming to celebrate your big day.

Purchase formal note cards with matching envelopes. Appearance is everything, and you want to show that you took the time to pick out charming cards and not any old scrap of paper that was lying around.

Handwrite the note. It shows that you put effort into saying thank you. Make your friends and family feel like you really appreciated their presence at the event and their present.

Addressing the note. Now there a couple options here. But first and foremost, the envelope should be addressed formally, "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, 123 West Oak Lane, etc. etc." However, within the card, the greeting will differ based on your relationship with the giver. If it is someone you are not on a first name basis with-stick with the formal greeting. However, if the person is someone you know well such as a childhood friend, a family member, a close neighbor you have known all your life, you can feel free to greet them as you would normally"Dear Auntie Diane," "Hey Bob," or use a nickname "Dear Nana."

Make the note personal. Here is where that list you made will come in handy. Say something about the gift and how much you liked it, “A new blender was just what I needed," or "The necklace you gave me was so beautiful."

Sending them out. Make sure you work diligently and get those cards out ASAP. According to party etiquette, you should mail the "thank you" cards within 3 weeks after receiving the gift. Of course, the sooner the better, but if you just had a massive blow-out of a party, your guests will not expect "thank you’s" the next day. And if you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, just remember a late "thank you" is better than nothing at all.